…as in d for divorce. Few words can rock one’s world more; whether or not divorce was anticipated. For some, there is a sense of relief that finally, the end has begun. For others, it is a clear-out-of-the-blue pronouncement that they never saw coming. For others, it is a swift unilateral about-turn of a relationship that leaves one’s head spinning.
Whichever of these spouses you are, there is one thing that should be clear from the very start of this “new normal” — divorce changes everything. It could be that one spouse is using the specter of divorce as notice to the other that things are not going well and perhaps therapy or a change in the status quo may repair things. It could also really be that one spouse truly wants out of the marriage.
If you are the surprised —or not surprised— spouse, your actions in the next few days, months and even years will determine how you will emerge from this process, emotionally and financially. Make no mistake — your life is going to change and you’ll need the right support to get through it.
If your spouse verbally expresses the wishes for a divorce to be granted, you can assume quite safely that he or she has already gotten the recommendations of an attorney. A family law attorney or a divorce attorney is imperative – find someone you trust to work as your consultant and legal representative during this time.
How do you select such a representative? The next chapter will give you some key elements to look for in a divorce or family law attorney.